Not Your Mother’s Bump ‘N Grind

I was sooo ready; had the most perfect dress, the most perfect flats, and the most perfect jewelry.  I was ready for my first homecoming dance.  I could just imagine chit-chatting with my friends in a mild, “PG-13” manner and dancing with a charming, handsome guy.  I’m afraid the car ride there was the best part of the night.

Maybe I had expectations that were a tad too wild, or maybe had standards that were a tad too high; but to put it plainly, it disappointed. I wasn’t exactly expecting “Dancing with the Stars”, but I wasn’t anticipating blaring rap music for 4 ½ hours and sore glute muscles either.  My idea of a high school dance couldn’t have been more off-target.

The only thing people were doing at that dance was juking, which is your mother’s “bump ‘n grind”, but on steroids.  I’m sorry to say that I am probably scarred for life.  That type of dancing isn’t bad, of course, but I felt incredibly awkward and spent the whole night standing with a few friends, talking about how uncomfortable we felt.

Well, now that I think about it, my expectations for school dances are always wrong.  After talking to a few friends about it, I found out that the same thing happens to them as well.  So what’s with this?  Why are our expectations always a smidge too high when it comes to dances?  I think I know the answer: movies.  It’s the movies with those overly romantic scenes where a handsome prince charming finally builds up the courage and asks a perfect, beautiful girl to dance.  I have a feeling that this is a fantasy.  No, scratch that.  I know that this is a fantasy.

But this doesn’t faze me.  So what if I don’t get to dance with a guy to a song about the glittering stars and eternal love?  I’d probably step on Mr. Wonderful’s foot anyways.  Yes!  You know what; I think I’ve just had an epiphany.  I’m glad that I didn’t get asked.  I mean, what’s the matter with just hanging out with your friends?  What’s the matter with not caring if you’re going to be invited to awkwardly juke with some guy you barely know?  I’ll tell you what: nothing!

So girls, if you’re at some party and that man friend of yours isn’t asking you that question, shake it off!  I can guarantee you, you aren’t missing much. You know what? That’s what I’m going to do at the next dance. I’m just going to hang out, with no worries whatsoever.

Unless of course, someone does ask me…….

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